God Is Able to Save Your Marriage

            The purpose of this post is to keep my readers from misinterpreting some things I wrote earlier on this website.  If you were to click on the pagelink entitled “Truth you Need to Know,” you would find the following statement:   

 

            “Many Christians will tell you that if you “serve God” He will bless you with all the things you want in this life: a good marriage, a stable job, and/or good health.  But this will not always be the case.  God will not give you your wants: He’ll give you your needs.  I cannot promise you that He will give you more money, but I can promise you that He will empower you to be more generous with the money you have. Likewise, He may not “fix” your selfish spouse, but He will help you love your spouse in a way you could not love them before.  Finally, He may not cure you of the illness you have, but He will allow you to display patience through your suffering so that some of your friends and family members may also get saved from your example and spend eternity with you in a place where there is no pain.”

            My concern for this paragraph is chiefly with the statement that addresses marital relationships.  The point of the article is that everyone needs to turn to God and get saved at once. God promises in His Bible that if you trust Him completely He will allow you to turn the tables on your sins.  But many people, when they get saved, want Him to do much more than this. Oftentimes they want Him to save their marriage as well. They hope that if they make things right with God He will help them make things right with their spouse.  This is not a bad thing to hope for.  In fact, I think that it is wrong if you don’t hope for this. God is very powerful—He created the universe—and if He can’t save a marriage, then no one can. Saving marriages is something He does very frequently. I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes many many times.

            Nevertheless, a saved marriage is not a guaranteed result the moment you repent of your sins and believe that Jesus died for you. The reason is because salvation is a private deal between you and God, independent of everyone else.  Marriage takes two people, both with a sin problem and a human will.  In order for it to be successful they must both work together. It only takes one person to hijack it. Therefore when you get saved God will use the Holy Spirit to convict you of your sins towards your spouse so that you can change into a better husband or wife. But the same thing may not necessarily happen to your partner.  He/she may continue to reject God’s offer of grace, and may continue to blame you for everything that’s wrong with your marriage, even if it’s clearly not your fault. They may continue to get drunk every night, do drugs, or beat the kids.  In fact, they may be so angry when you “get religion” that they do this even more.

            But don’t let this discourage you. Becoming a real Christian is still the best thing that can happen to your marriage relationship. For one thing, it will allow the love to return, even if it’s only one sided. In order to become a Christian you are forced to admit how wicked you are, even if other people consider you to be a paragon of virtue. By making this admission you are forced to lay aside the self-righteous attitude you have that is helping to widen the rift between you and your spouse. Now, suddenly, you understand the importance of loving your spouse whether they deserve it or not.  This unconditional love will be difficult and painful for you at times (it hurts to have your heart broken), but it may very well trigger a change in the one you love. At the very least they should be easier to get along with since you are more gracious to them and less selfish. There will be less bickering and less shouting since God will help you stop fighting against them on the things that are not worth fighting over.  The results of submitting to their will when it is appropriate may cause you to be inconvenienced from time to time, but it will make your spouse easier to live with.

            Ultimately, though, your final goal should be for God to save your spouse as well. Keep up your hope: this happens a lot, and after it does, your marriage will never be the same. I have seen it happen time and time again.  Sometimes the wife gets saved first; sometimes the husband. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first, second, or third marriage; God can still save it. More than that, I have seen multiple cases where a partner from a previous marriage also gets saved, allowing for both sides to reconcile and apologize to one another for previously unconfessed offenses. God is in the business of fixing broken hearts, and making friends out of hate-filled sinners. I pray that He does the same for you.

____________________________________

(I Corinthians 7:12-15)  “If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called you to peace. For how do you know, o wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

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1 Response to “God Is Able to Save Your Marriage”


  1. 1 vincent owusu siaw July 12, 2010 at 10:00 am

    hmmm


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